4/2/07

Some say that life is hard, and I tend to believe them.
A daily movement through obstacles, finding a path along the way.
A path found through unforeseen blockades
and sometimes disarray.
With new discoveries and pathways revealed everyday.

Others say that hard work pays, and I tend to believe them.
For it is often easier to be relieved of the difficult decisions.
Adaptation to change is often very difficult,
but human beings depend on adapting quickly for survival.
Indeed, survival itself is not such an easy thing.

There is meaning in the difficulty,
and it means that we are alive.
To feel distressed, depressed, demeaned or over dependent, is easier,
and to relent seems to relinquish our fear of failure.

But to be afraid or depressed is not to live,
for life is carved in the road through the obstacles easily run into.
It is true that happiness is not easily achieved,
and it is more difficult to concieve of idealistic dreams as reality.

But the meaning of difficulty is related to the meaning of life,
to strive for what is right and to fight
the fear that shrouds us in night
blocking out the light of day seen in happiness and displayed in love.
When something is hard it is often worth it,
and indeed, living is hard.

3/22/2007 2am

We are beings of a universe
expansive and chaotic,
yet with so much order.

We are here under the Sun,
and a hundred million light years away from
the nearest abundance of Suns.

Yet further are we away from where we begun
from a theoretical “Bang.”
A Bang so far back in time that it does not exist;
impossible to quantify within the limits of time itself.

The idea of time melts away,
as do notions of night and day,
as light fades to darkness in the infinite abyss
where sight is remiss of vision.

Where massive collissions of megaton masses go without notice or mention.

For time to exist there must be a begining and an end-
a paradigm to exist within.
A birth and a death, quantify time-
so when was the birth of the universe, and when will it die?

If indeed there are no answers to these questions,
it seems then, that relativity does not lie.
For if time is relative,
then we are always relatively on time.

For dates set in the universe,
are never early and never late.
They are infinitely instantaneous
and perpetually delayed.

To have faith in such a profound Bang then,
does not account for the surrounding space that
the begining ocurred within.

Outside of the Bang before it spurred,
and the Bang itself never heard,
only exist within our brain.

2/26/2007

The clouds are gray today
and the rain has let up a little,
a bit of a contradiction I suppose,
not at all unlike the thorns on a rose.

Or even like the ambitious man who settles.
For life itself is based on contradictions,
what goes up must come down,
and to know a smile is to know a frown.

Without black we know not white,
nor the shades of gray between them.
Without women there are no men,
and without paper there is no use for a pen.

But the two together are immense.

To read inbetween the lines
is to understand the contradiction
between what is clearly written,
and what hides beneathe the words.

The day breaks and the sun shines through,
until the light turns to darkness
and night becomes anew.

For we have no night without the light of day,
and we have no anger
until happiness slips away.

We know not triumph without the taste of defeat,
for there is no winning without loss,
and without loss there are no great feats.

Down-beats are only between the up-beats
and drum beats are heard against the silence.
Without my bias I have no view,
and without myself there is no you.

3/14/2007 3am

Free will is not garunteed,
this is a true revelation indeed.
I realize the speed at which my mind is thinking
and I can see that the thoughts that come to be are not always worth being,
anything at all.

Or is that just the conditioning on which I am feeding?
It is the bleeding passions that are the assassins of my will to be.
To break down believing by achieving the thoughts that are constantly
succeeding in keeping the world still.

To find meaning in the thoughts chained from free will,
and this is the point at which I find myself.
Trying to deny free will from existing,
and trying to understand that the chains of my destiny
are not held tight.

But it is indeed a fight to find, understand, and believe
what’s right.
Even as the sun rises, falls, and turns early evening
into night.

These problems persist in my mind.
The thought that time marches forward,
while the ideas of this kind
are blind to everything outside of the present.

The dichotomy between me and what is outside of me.
The essential dichotomy between free will and destiny.

But to internally understand what the chains of destiny actually are,
can allow the soul to be set free in the world.
Which may be like coal, or even
as good as gold.

There are swirling winds in my mind that increase in intensity with time.
My thoughts turn into tornados of ideas that rhyme,
ripping through the baseline
of my previously thought conventions.

Things I’ve learned allow me to unlearn the learning that holds me back,
keeping track of what it all means.
Like the ideas that rhyme, but don’t actually rhyme at all,
close enough anyway.

I guess what I’m really trying to say
is that the ocean’s waves
can be weak or strong,
but they are always like the soul penetrating lyrics of a well sung song.

My favorite place to be is in the ocean,
whether it be under the sun,
or in the depths of my vast and trecherous mind.

Catching waves that the off-shore wind makes curl in and cave
as I tumble through untouched waters in untold lands,
where the sand glistens as I listen
to the sounds of the ocean through the sea shell in the palm of my hand.

It makes me understand.
It’s the calm after the storm has past,
when the winds die down and we are free at last
to whislte and walk down our sun gleaming path.

It feels in some ways as a scripted show,
where everyone plays a specific role
and doesn’t deviate from the commonly accepted social norms.

Lines are drawn in the sand,
where spheres of influence command
on which side of the line each man stands.

Lose your voice through apathy,
derived from the fact
that the powers and ways that be
will remain in tact.

Conversations contrived within a framework of power relations,
where self-interest regulates topics of discussion
and censorship of thoughts creates systematic sanctions
on individual free will.

Any off-hand rhetorical rebuttle will do of course,
just as in D.C. where real problems are masqueraded
by three-hundred-and-sixty degree retorts.

Cut out the cancer only to find that
it cannot cure a body so diseased that nothing left is pure,
not a problem though, for a reginerating body,
unless of course, the same cancer causing agents are there
without the knowledge of those who should be aware.

10/15/06

Achieve greatness by filling in thoughtless spaces with infinite perceptions of reality and original conceptions of humanity. To understand with certainty the uncertainties of the vast and chaotic universe and to make perverse the tiny scope through which we see our earth.

To gain perspective through realizing our flawed perspectives. Realizing before it’s too late that the moment of truth comes at the moment of death- that we are all mortal humans. We will all die, we have all cried, lied, and tried. So when is it that our infinite similarities will align, like the infinite constellations in the night sky?

This will mark the time when humanity rises above the calamity of unnecessary conflict. When the malady of mind, body, and community will become a plague of the past vaccinated by the modern marvels of comprehending that we are a reflection of the cosmos, cast onto the earth through the prism of time itself.

For we are merely masses of energy that originated from the same source as infinity, and it is we, that through our very existence, fill in the thoughtless spaces we seek to fill with ideas about humanity and society.

May-June 2005

Beyond the superficiality of personal realities bound by humanity’s incapacity to think vastly of the ideas abounding. It’s quite astounding that the profound nature of our surroundings is so little understood. Understanding is flawlessly subjective, while material objects and non-living aspects to the environment we protect are inherently objective. Even the simple idea of being protective has been a matter of our human perception and perspective. It is seemingly more and more difficult to get across a point that can be accurately upheld by the rhyme of time passing on pages of paper line by line. The kind of blind attention to the status quo, of what we think we know, and of the things we have trouble letting go. But let it go, let every idea grow, but with the seeds of a new breed of thought from a freshly planted crop with new terrain below.

2/19/07

Nonsensical jargon seems to be a bargain when whimsical words are priceless. I can’t fight this, and I shouldn’t allow myself to limit the access to the melodies struck by inner chords that create the vibrations that rise to the skin as goosebumps and chills. Sensations inhibited by self-imposed mental limitations are the root of our frustrations and lack of will.

The power we have rests in the skyscrapers and towers, not in our cities, but inside of our souls, where the beauty of life is the flower that is planted in our inner depths. When hours of reflection are like spring time, and the flowers grow and bloom as ignorance changes into something that’s known, and the leaves are blown from the trees that they once called home.
A never ending spring time, where we drink from the spring of life, and ignite the flames that fuel our burning passions. Once we excite and arouse our minds we will be blessed with the procreation of thoughtful lives and meaningful lines of prose.

As we know, the seasons change and so do people, we weather the storms, buy warmer clothes, and turn on our heaters.

Nothing is ever quite as it seems,
even the visible light we see
is nothing more than a reflected beam.

Lyrical schemes seem to slip away
from valuable interpretations of what they really mean,
and often coming clean is dirtier than it needs to be.

Living life one breath at a time
allows for deeper reflections of mind,
and a level of understanding beyond the neurological type.

To connect one person to another in an inexplicable synergy of life,
where the energy entwines and connects two disparate circles
into congruent lines.

The intuitive signs of which we are often blind
limit experience and inhibit our ability to align
with what is truly yours and mine.

We limit ourselves through false conceptions of reality,
by seeking protection and taking protective cover
in our misperceptions and calamities.

Sections of the universe are cut off by self-inflicted boundaries,
where worlds will never meet,
and great discoveries will be enclosed in boxes and locked up,
with the key lost and forgotten in the fear of bad luck.

Life is never truly as it seems,
for even rays and beams of light still exist in the darkness
of the darkest night.